Quiting Smoking: 5 things nobody told me I would face!

Ok, so I am in the middle of week 4 without cigarettes. It has been well, up and down... but I must say that so far it has mostly been up, for once. It is by no means my first attempt at quitting, however I have made the decision that it will be my last... whether I end up back on them or not.

I am hoping that this do or die method will keep me on track and so far so good. The last few days have been the most interesting because they are the first few without any nicotine aid at all. I had been implementing a rotation system between patches and e-cigarettes up until now. Having tried several different methods over the past few years and 11 years experience with smoking I STRONGLY recommend using some form of nicotine replacement at first, if you try go it alone you may very well end up sinking quickly.

Anyway, this is my 6th attempt and I have never been more confident in myself and I know this is because I feel I am finally prepared for everything the beast can throw at me. It may have taken 5 "practise" runs but I have yet to come across any surprise symptoms I have not encountered before... Only this time I am ready.

The other 5 times however I wasn't, at all, something always caught me out and forced me back onto the cigarettes. So I think it is important I share with the world some of the things I wish I knew before my first attempt.

1. People Have NO IDEA!

Non smokers I mean. People who have never had a cigarette in their life. They will torture you. They will not understand the pain you are going through. Some will be arseholes about it, the "I don't understand how you could smoke in this day and age anyway" kind of person, WANKERS I like to call them. They have literally no concept of what it is like, they think it is nothing but a habit and will have no sympathy... the irony is that everything they say will make you want a cigarette so much more.

Others are well meaning, the "I know it's supposed to be really hard, but you can do it". They are nearly worse, because when it gets tough the first thing you will teach yourself is that you are too weak to do it, so you smoke because you are depressed that you can't do it, and you have let the nice people who said you could down. Tricky ain't it.

2. Mind Games

Someone warned me briefly about this one before I ever tried to quit. They threw it into conversation casually... I hate them for that. They should have said, you will suffer from a kind of schizophrenic dementia that will make you want to bite your fingers off and smoke them. Even this would have been an understatement. What happens in your head when trying to quit cigarettes is extraordinary. Don't take any of what I say to be exaggerated, this is a war! Your brain will do ANYTHING, to make you smoke. It will play games, it will make you weak, it will even make you strong, yep, strong. It will make you think you are so strong that smoking could never do any damage to you. It will convince you that smoking being bad for you is a conspiracy, and you will believe it! Anything to get that precious nicotine. Don't listen to it! Even if that means switching off your brain!

3. Heartbreak

It is literally the only way I can describe it. Heartbreak, just like losing someone you love. This is something you need to expect when quitting. Now I will say that unlike real heartbreak in my experience it will not last as long, maybe even just a few days, but it comes with all the trimmings, the panic, the thumping in your chest, the need to cry, the loneliness, everything!... You will want to go running back to cigarettes so quickly, you will feel like you can't live without them. In all honesty this is the hurdle most people (particularly men) fall down at first. It is tough as shit, but believe me, just like love you will get over it!

4. Hulk Mad!

Ok, I had of course heard of this one before I tried to quit. I figured I would be a bit tetchy, maybe even have a bit of go at someone for no reason. Wow was I wrong!... the nicotine monster takes over on this one. You will NOT get a BIT upset, you will go CRAZY!... I mean you will go nuts for hours straight! This is a lot worse in the first couple of days due to the nicotine leaving your body, after a week you will be close to sane again. The major problem with this is when you mix it with number 1 on my list. Most smokers will understand why you are being intolerable, but those non-smokers? They will put up with it for all of 2 seconds, before they forget their promise to "be there for you no matter what". So make sure you don't let the monsters ruin your relationships. Just try your best to grit your teeth and smile, the monster doesn't like that.

5. No Finish Line

This the most overlooked thing I have seen to date and something that people rarely ever mention. To me it is one of the most important things you should know. It is not like after 3 months without a cigarette makes you declared officially off them, there is no big party to celebrate, there is nothing. You never really know when you have officially become a non smoker. This makes it seem so pointless and depressing. I know it sounds strange but I guarantee this is one of the main causes for failure. So it is very important that you set your own rewards (or get your partner to set them *recommended*). Always remember you are giving up because it is a ridiculously stupid, pointless, expensive, disgusting habit and not because you want to acheive something by giving up, if you want to achieve something run a marathon!

I hope if you are trying to quit you found this somewhat helpful and remember this, there is one more thing people don't tell you enough about quitting... it's easy! All you have to do is not bloody smoke!.... see I am sounding like a Non-Smoker already. Yuss!